Loving Parenting - Again

Just wishing you a wonderful World Book Day.  What a wonderful opportunity to pull our children close and share a good story.  Make time to create a special memory with those you love.  If you don't have a book handy, use the time to share one of your favorite stories you read as a child or a young adult.  Share the excitement you felt in reading or exploring a new world through the pages of a book.  Good stories never grow old.  Maybe today is your chance to tell someone your own story, your own life adventures.  However you spend your day, to it with someone you care about.   

     Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without any judgment.  It is a state of active/inactive attention to the present, without regard to the future or the past.  Mindfulness is described as the ability to be fully present, aware of where you are, what you are doing, while not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around you.      Mindfulness can help reduce stress, improve mental well-being, and enhance focus and self-awareness. Practicing  mindfulness has been found to reduce depression and anxiety symptoms and increase feelings of well-being.        Mindfulness is a basic concept used by many therapists. Many schools are implementing mindfulness exercises and activities in order to improve mood, improve focus, and increase empathy and cooperation in the classroom and general social interaction within the ...

 A few weeks ago my adopted daughter attended a fireside. When I asked her about the meeting, she said it was good and she liked it, but didn't say much else about the speaker or the subject.  It was few days later that I came across a packet of colorful papers she had tucked away in her purse.  At first, she didn't understand my excitement at what I had found. However, I had the opportunity to share with her that what she had been casually given, without a lot of explanation, was in fact something exciting, something we could talk about together.  This particular daughter recently asked about looking into finding a therapist to see on a regular basis.  She had heard from a few family members the difference going to counseling had helped them.  Up to this point I hadn't really felt a need for them to attend therapy sessions, mainly because after all the sessions and training I had received while raising the previous two generations of children, I felt her a...

 I take part in a Facebook group for people who have chosen to adopt children.  A very recent subject that has come up is the issue of honesty.  It is not an unfamiliar issue for me, as I have had many family members who have experienced challenges with being honest.  As a parent and grandparent, I understand the frustration of teaching this concept, not just once, but often many times.    In our society, honesty is an important character trait/life skill we want our children to learn.  Honesty is tied closely with respect - respect for self as well as respect for others.  How well a child or any person, learns this skill can affect them not just in the present, but also in their future as they make friends, interact with others or find success in a chosen career.  May I suggest a number of ways which I have found useful?  Perhaps you will find something that works for you.  1. Talk about honesty.  Honesty can be explained as s...

  Congratulations! You’ve just had a baby. Or perhaps, circumstances require you to return to work.   Either way, the need to get back to work and the mounting pressure of wondering what you’re going to pay in daycare costs is likely causing you to lose sleep. But it needn’t be so. Keep in mind that your child continues to grow and in about 4 years your daycare costs will begin declining as your child enters school. As more time is spent in school and after school activities, less time will be spent in daycare. Even though it is a small percentage, child care expenses are deductible off your taxes. Other ways to combat daycare costs include rearranging your work schedule if at all possible, sharing child care with your spouse or partner, and finding a telecommute job so you can stay at home. Relatives or family friends can often help out. High school or college students are also a source worth looking into. If you live near a large college, it may be profitable for you to pl...

You've heard all the nasty rumors about childcare, but you have to get back to work and you have no choice. But did you know there are benefits to sending your child to daycare If you consider some of these benefits, it will help you come to terms with your own decision whether you have a choice or not. If you can understand some of the ways children benefit from childcare, you will feel you are helping your child grow into a well-rounded, happy child instead of punishing the both of you by sticking him in daycare. Babies need interaction with other children. It's never too early to start engaging him in activities with other children, whether they are other babies, toddlers or older children. Learning to interact with other children prepares a child for his first encounter with school. A daycare environment is a perfect place to get a child used to other children as he will have to do when he enters preschool or kindergarten. Daycare is a gentler environment, there are less ru...

   Ever since women entered the workforce, the great daycare debate has raged on. Parents, scholars and politicians have argued the pros and cons of external childcare facilities until families are absolutely certain placing their child in daycare results in either an infant prodigy or a teenage delinquent.  As with any issue, the truth has been found to be somewhere in between. Daycare can be a tremendous opportunity for a young child to learn social skills, expand their vocabulary and learn to function as an individual away from their parents; constant interaction with their peers allows them to develop a respect for the opinions and emotions of others, learn the value of teamwork, and to form friendships that will often carry into their school years. They are also given an opportunity to gain basic academic skills at an earlier age and adapt to the more rigid structure of a classroom environment prior to entering Kindergarten, easing what is often a difficult transit...

  Choosing a daycare for your child can be a difficult decision; the last thing you want to do is place them in a facility that is going to ultimately be detrimental to their development and happiness. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to distinguish a "good" facility from a bad one. Before making a final verdict, there are a few key pieces of info you should know.        An important starting point when investigating a facility, especially an institution that cares for a large number of children, is to find out if it is licensed. If so, you know the key providers (often the directors) have completed a minimum amount of training in early childhood development, education and/or care, often in a secondary institution. It is good to discover what training and experience the teachers and aides are required to possess before being hired, as these are the people who will often have the most hands on contact with the children on a daily basis. These individuals shou...

  Extramarital pregnancy, divorce, death, and abandonment by one parent are some reasons are why some men and women find themselves as single parents.   These occurrences are not only life-changing, but they can also be traumatic, for both the single parent and the children. The impact of these events and feelings are often either misunderstood or may, at times, not even be considered as significant.   It is this lack of understanding that makes the study of single parent’s psychology and mental health important. Studies have reported there are more child and adolescent problems among households with single parents than in those with the “normal” two parent home. While most single parents may disagree, it is understandable why statistics point in that direction if all factors are not considered. For one, a single parent has limited time on his hands. Managing a household with another person is difficult enough.   It becomes even harder for those who must do it a...

 I wish I could claim this how I respond each time one of my children make a mistake, but sadly I can't.  Like many parents I know there are too many times I react before I think.  There are times when words of frustration and blame precede recognizing they may have already tried to remedy the mistake in some way or I am looking at the wrong mistake.  For instance I walk into the kitchen and see soaking wet towels wadded up in the sink with food poured over them.   My reaction is to ask who created the mess with the wet towels and left it for me to clean up.  A few minutes later I am holding a crying child.  She didn't mean to make another mess.  She used the towels to clean up the spilled milk and then rinsed them in the sink and left them there because they were still wet.  She didn't know her sister was going to throw her left over cereal on top of them.    Thank goodness I know how to say I'm sorry.  Thankfully I can w...

With my employment of the past 9 years ending December 31, 2017,  I find myself with the challenge of trying to work from home with two active, loving children who want my undivided attention.  .My focus these first two weeks has been on getting some marketing material and ideas together for promoting the Princess Jelisa Stories for Children.   Actually, I have accomplished a fair amount given the circumstances.  I am sure I could develop more focus, but for a beginning, I feel I am doing well.  I can generally get most of what I decide to do for the day completed.  Part of my focus has been to post thoughts to my 3 existing blogs. I hope to be able to find a schedule where I can post at least weekly to each blog.   Part of the challenge is getting the four (4) year-old to understand that even though I am home, it does not mean I am free to spend all day with her or go shopping everyday.  The first week was the hardest but it is getting bette...

I don't know about you, but my five-year-old and I do not always agree on what is fun, how often it should happen or how long it should last.   I can't help but wonder how many other parents  encounter this difference of opinion with one of their children.    Not having an overabundance of money or time, I tend to lean toward time together that is short and inexpensive.  Not understanding cost or time she tend to lean toward activities that are longer and involve an entrance fee. Since I work most of the day, and have to come home to clean and cook, I tend to look for things we can do quietly together at home.  She spends most of her time in school so when she comes home she wants to go somewhere or do something that uses up her pent-up energy.  Business hours of the places she wants to go also limit my ability to meet her immediate wishes for having fun. A few weeks ago I spent some money (OK, more than I should have) on some Christmas craft...

As I picked  up my kindergartner from school today I asked if she had received a "good day" stamp on her thumb for the day.  Once again she told me the reason she didn't get a stamp was because she was touching others.  I asked her if she thought I should talk to her teacher.  She said "yes" so we waited  until her teacher was free. Her teacher explained she did more than touch.  She pushed someone who had stepped in line in front of her.  When her teacher told her that was not acceptable, Lilly stomped off, with a loud "fine" and then started having a meltdown.  Lilly was good about going to another area of the room to cool off, but her anger was centered on already having said she was sorry. I explained that was typical for Lilly.  She is a very highly emotional individual and has several meltdowns a day over seemingly little things or small frustrations.  One of her beliefs is once she has said she is "sorry" then everything is OK....

Many years ago my grandfather had a small card in his library with the following words of wisdom.  The advice is as appropriate today as it was when I was growing up.  Love never fails. CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world. Dorothy Law Nolte (1963*) ...

Lillian started kindergarten this week. (It doesn't seem like it has been twelve (12) years since Alexandra was beginning school, but she will be eighteen next week and working on getting her diploma.  Less than a year from now she will be going to college. ) I am, starting a new twelve year journey of meeting with teachers, signing notes, attending IEP, SEP and PTA meetings.  A new era begins of reminding students about and overseeing homework, making sure assignments are returned and tracking test scores and grades.  There are parts of the adventure I look forward to, some I hope I do as well as I did before and others I hope I find I have improved in handling.  As each child is different, though some things may be the same, others may not. Overnight it seems as though Lillian turned a page from a clinging child to an independent young girl.   One day she needed me to be with her to go play and the next day she is asking to go play alone and reminding ...

A few years ago I published a book through Amazon entitled Loving Parenting.   At the time I wanted to share my belief that being a parent is many things.  No matter how we obtain the title, it is our choice how we approach the adventure.  In Loving Parenting I hoped to reach out and touch other parents, offering them a choice to enjoy the journey by looking for the positive moments that come along.    I have been blessed to be the mother of five children, four daughters and a son, all of whom are grown now with families of their own.  Although I was married twice, I spent the majority of the time of their growing years as a single parent.  In order to avoid being or feeling overwhelmed with all the responsibilities and challenges that came my way, I had to learn.  I feel I was blessed with opportunities to evaluate my priorities and thoughts.  I was blessed with some wonderful people in my life who assisted me in seeing that the...